Week 4 In the Big Bournemouth House

Posted by on Tuesday 14th October 2003. 2 comments.

Hello again, last week i left you on the afternoon of monday.....

So on monday night me, james, the girls and one of the boys from my house, all went down to 'our local' the firestation. As i checked my ticket i was dissapointed to see the nite had been called 'The rumpashaker R'n'B special' but although the music wasnt to any of our tastes, it still ended up as a top notch night- i had lots and lots of 'cheeky pints' and a couple of brain hemorages, and we even got drunk enough to actually dance to this r 'n' b shit that was playing- which is something that no sane person would do without being absolutely 'Gazza'ed'.

Tuesday was quite a boring day really- went to college, come home and had a house inspection- just some woman telling us how many people we could have at house partys and if we want more than 15 then we actually have to tell the uni- crazy eh? A quite night in for me, while i have been reliably informed that if james doesnt go out clubbing, he will be in the 24 hour pool club directly below his house, so that was his night.

Wednesday was just as boring, if not more than tuesday. Some boring lessons in the morning, and we had a household shop in the afternoon at asda where all i bought was a 28p packet of chicken and vegatable 'cup full 'o' soups'. Wednesday night was another quite one, which did become a lot more entertaining after watching mr bartezs antics in the man u goal! It took me back to my old days in the school football team when i pulled off a few 'bartez's of my own! Also that night, me and my house mates all decided that to brighten up the walls we will do a portatit of eachother and stick them up 'big brother' style. This task has to be completed by 11.pm this wednesday.

And here is something that might surprise a few people- both me and james STAYED IN on the thursday night! I didnt have enough cash to get taxis all around bournemouth while james was knocking around a few frames at the pool club. Instead i did some homework and watched the ipswich game- possibley the most boring game ive seen in a while. By 11.30 i actually put on Will Smith's 'getting jiggy with it', bought myself a VK Energy and closed my eyes and remembered the old days at mission.........

Friday was quite a good day. Me, james, one of my housemates and three other people from uni have entered a team to play in the astro turf 5-a-side league every wednesday afternoon- we are called 'Forth team rejects' coz four of them got rejected from the forth team surprisingly! I did think about given it a 'drunkit' related name, but it didnt go down well with other members of the team- but still i was wondering, matt and mike, if we could be the OFFICIAL football team of drunkit- all you have to do is sponser us and give us lots of cash and support, in exchange for a weekly update about the sucess and failure of this team! So look out for a special report next wednesday! Anyway, ANOTHER night in on friday night, where the most exciting things that happened were me and the girls wearing tea towels on our heads all night, and making our own band out of household accessories. Uni life eh? Mad!

Saturday was the start of a mixed fortunes weekend- it started on saturday afternoon where i went to james appartment to watch him and our new mate 'charlie' win the world cup on fifa 2000. But i unfortunatley accepted a vitamin tablet from james, that he had bought from the respected superstore 'Lidl'. A poor move by me. As we walked through town i started feeling cramps and pains in my stomach, and at 7 'o' clock saturday evening we ended up in the pool club. Feeling a bit weird i decided to unload myself in the urinal- SWEET JESUS what a mess! I felt like a woman, peeing out my ass! This one lttle tablet had given me diarheoa big time. But that did not stop me from having 4 cans of 'Lidl' lager round his house then have two double vodka and dvs and a straight shot of vodka in a pub called infernos! We ended up in the shittest club of all of bournemouth called 'Brazils'. James managed to sucessfully get in using a £10 note that me and him accidently ripped at the cash machine- we went to the corner shop and used a pritt stick to glue it back together, but unfortunately it fell apart in the bouncers hands! But they let him in anyway. And me, james and charlie spent a lot of cash on small bottles of heinekin and shots of tequilla, and also james pulled- so the night wasnt too bad after all.

But sunday morning- bloody hell, i got through 2 rolls of toilet roll and 45 air fresheners! The drinking antics of the night before cannot have helped my unfortunate illness, and after phone my mum to find out what to do, she said to not eat anything all day apart from rich tea biscuits when it settles down- so i had a healthy meal of 6 biscuits and a glass of water yesterday- while having to prepear a presentation for today- one of my worst days in bournemouth so far.

And this morning i had to perform the presentation and it went extremely badly- with the nerves as well as the fear of literally shitting myself i was stuttering and pausing and produced the worst one in the class! and even as i am writing this my ass is still rumbling along with my empty tummy, and im looking forwards to a nice night in with maybe a cold lager, a nice chips, fish fingers and vegetable meal and a nice dose of eastenders and the classic TV program that is Johnny Vaughns 'orrible!!!!

But this should be a big news week- with the rejects first game of the season on wednesday afternoon, and the big freshers ball on thursday - with the one and only "So Solid Crew" playing there, look out for next weeks report.

From Your Uncle Bob

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