Bobs Thursday Night Before Christmas 2003

Posted by on Friday 19th December 2003. 2 comments.

Well well well, welledy welledy welledy, oh my oh my oh my, I had a bloody strange night last night.

It started a few days ago when I said that I might be going out on Thursday, and I had James wrapped around my little finger as he said he would. Then it all changed as my dad wanted to go out drinking with me which meant James didn’t go out which consequently meant that most people stayed in last night and it all ended up a bit boring.

So I ended up out with my dad, and we went to the Vic for a nice pint of 6X while admiring all of my dads art work in there (I was saying it was shit and I could do much better). We didn’t stay long in here though as we were supposed to be meeting my uncle at 7.30pm. So as we left we were walking along at the top of Vic Hill and a bumbling father Christmas figure came strolling towards us – it was non-other than my nans partner Chris (“not Chris”! I hear you all cry!). He was very merry and going on about how he had been drinking since twelve which was quite funny as he’s about 60 and ive never seen him happy in my life.

We convinced him to come to the pub with us and meet my uncle, and after about 15 seconds of thinking he agreed and came to The Kings with us. I’m not the greatest fan of The kings but my dad likes it so we had a couple of pints in there. My brother turned up as well so it was a nice family outing. Chris was going on about how he had been chatting to two 24 year old girls all night, and then he suddenly left! We all wondered what he was doing, until he dragged the very girls into the pub. There weren’t the nicest looking girls you’ll ever see, but it was funny to see big old Chris with two young girls. “Ive still got it” was his comment as the girls left.

Then my dad’s gay friend turned up – if you think of a stereotypical gay man this is him. He had a tight leather jacket on and a little greased up quiff and an “adorable” little vest t-shirt on underneath. “Hiya Gordon” he squeaked out in a high pitched gay voice, as he ruffled my dads hair and gave my uncle a hug. He was actually a nice person, just so gay it was funny. He gave my dad a Christmas card – “to Gordon, happy xmas, hugs kisses and luuuurve,  from stevie and Andrew”. It was sweet of him.

After our pints, Chris and stevie decided to head off (not together) so we all went to the steam railway. Inside there I saw Johnny, sachin, dave scott, tim cundy and in another corner on his own, dave cheater. I spoke to all of them while my uncle was getting my pints and Johnny was trying to get me to come to mission. I had my shoes and shirt on just in case but I was only going to go in if I was close and didn’t have to queue up. I looked outside and the mother of all queues had already formed so things weren’t looking good.

We sat down and my uncle had bought us some winter warmer which was 5.8% I think so quite strong and pretty nice actually. Our talk revolved around Christmas presents and their childhood stories, and after we all had finished out lovely pints my uncle decided to get us half a pint of “skullbasher” or something like that which is 8.5% beer. We all agreed, but he came back with 4 pints because everyone’s favourite steam railway bar maid (everyone loves that old woman!) called him a woman and promised to give him a piggy back home if he bought pints. That ride never actually happened. So here we are, our pint percentages getting higher, and im already pretty steamed by now so this just turned me into a drunk. And somewhere through drinking that pint, I found out that I was an accident, never meant to be brought into this world! This is always nice to here!

Us four drunk blokes (well my brother is only 17 – does that make him a bloke?) went on down to the wheatsheaf, which was planned earlier and helped on its way with a text message from Matthew Greenaway! (Only the second one he’s ever sent me). He was telling me he was in there and wondering if anyone was out. At the wheatsheaf, him, leigh debbage and some other old guy were marking the music quiz answers. I was shouting out “david bowie” or “true” to every answer, but never got one right. I left them on their own because they were probably getting pissed off with me, and had another two pints of winter warmer again I think, so I was properly fucked. I lost at the game of pool to some guy, but then it was closing time! And then someone had the great idea of all of us going to mission. So that’s where we went!

Me, my 44 year old dad, his 46 year old brother and my 17 year old brother all headed to mission. The queue was still massive, but unbelievably, my uncle knew one of the bouncers. We went round the side to the coyote loco entrance and after a bit of banter between my uncle and the bald bouncer, he let us all in for free! My brother even had trainers on, which is something I have never seen happen in all my years of mission. So a bit of a result!

We all went upstairs and got some Budweiser, but then I don’t know what happened. I think I walked off and left everyone, Joe (my brother) and my dad and uncle stayed in coyote, then I came back and found my dad, Joe was on the main bottom dance floor and my uncle was no where to be seen! So I ended up dancing with my dad on the balcony bit of the main dance floor and then getting up on a podium and dancing with him in coyote with Johnny and sachin laughing below!

I can’t really remember what else happened in there but we didn’t stay for too long and me and my dad left, with my brother running and catching us up! We got home and I felt so ill from beer I just fell asleep straight away and my dad got a taxi back to his house!

So that my very weird night out with my family, on a night I wasn’t even supposed to go out. Respect your elders.

Comments

2 comments posted. Post a comment.